Vortex
by jeano
Summary: Onesided NejiHina. Neji muses his relationship with Hinata.


**Vortex**

¡¡

Disclaimer: Naruto is copyright of Kishimoto Masashi and Shounen Jump. 

I used to believe that I hated her and the rest of the Main House. But after her father explained what really happened to Otousan, all my hatred vanished, and what I found beneath it was care, concern and regret for what I had done to her. As they say, it is only a thin line between love and hate.

Perhaps I had gone too far when I decided to finish her off during the Chuunin exam, thinking that I could exact my revenge from the Main House by killing their heir. Although I risked being paralysed with pain if she activated the cursed seal on my forehead, it was still a risk worth taking-- she was too kind, too gentle to resort to such measures.

I opened the door to the hospital ward, holding a basket of fruits in one hand. Closing the door quietly behind me so as not to wake her up, I moved towards her sleeping figure.

She looked so serene sleeping-- her short hair framed her pale face, and her lips were slightly parted. I set the fruits down on the bedside table and sat on the stool beside the bed, watching her breathe deeply in and out, watching her chest rise and fall with every breath she took. 

A freshly-cut flower, a red rose, stood proudly in the small crystal vase on the bedside table. My heart leapt-- was it jealousy? Who was this ardent admirer who had been here before I came? Who could it be? Kiba? Naruto? Or someone else? 

The very thought that she had an admirer, or even a boyfriend, irked me. Somehow I felt that I had to protect her, to atone for what I had done to her. 

But was it something more? 

I couldn't explain my protectiveness of her. Ever since the war with Hidden Sand Village ended, I visited her everyday without fail, here in hospital; it had been ten days already. Sometimes she would be conscious, and I would hold her hands and tell her how sorry I was for doing what I did to her, for causing her such harm-- would she forgive me? And she would smile that sweet, shy smile of hers that sent my heart thumping wildly in my chest, and say it wasn't my fault. 

Other times, like this, she would be asleep, breathing deeply, rhythmically, and I would simply sit and wait patiently for her to wake up, or for visiting hours to be over. It gave me some kind of satisfaction and joy to see her. I just couldn't explain it. 

The gauzy white curtains stirred in the cool breeze that had crept into the room, caressing my cheeks and hers as well. Her bangs got blown onto her face and I leaned forward to brush it to the side, gently, taking the chance to let my fingers tickle her cool cheek, if only for a moment. 

Perhaps I wasn't gentle enough. Her brows furrowed slightly, and her eyelids fluttered open, soft lashes brushing against my fingers. 

"Neji-niisan..." She offered me a smile, one of _those_ smiles, and my heart thumped madly within my chest. 

"How are you feeling? Better?"

"Hai. Thanks for asking."

I stood up, making my way towards the bedside table. "Care for some fruit?" 

She nodded, and I silently cut some peaches into small slices, and sat her up. I handed her the ceramic platter, and she smiled gratefully at me. Her knuckles grazed mine as she took the dish from me, and an electrifying sensation coursed through my body.

She ate the sweet-smelling fruit daintily, nibbling on the pieces shyly and I watched her lips move sensuously, mesmerised by their movement. 

"Anou... Neji-niisan... Did Naruto-kun drop by today?"

I looked up and saw the blush on her cheeks at the mention of Naruto, and instantly felt my heart sink. The peaches no longer smelt sweet. 

I couldn't lie to her. "I don't know."

I must have said it a tad too sharply, for she jumped slightly, and set the plate of unfinished fruit on the table, and gazed at me pensively, concerned. "Neji-niisan... Are you okay? You don't look too good..." 

I turned away from her, and looked out the window so she wouldn't see the pained look on my face. What was I to her? A cousin? A brother? A friend? Naruto was Naruto_-kun_ to her, and I, Neji-_niisan_. She was simply viewing me with respect, not the affection she showed for Naruto, and I was jealous of him. I clenched my teeth, resent welling up in my heart. Why did it have to be him? He didn't even like her back! 

And then I realised why. She was afraid of me. I had not treated her kindly until her dad told me the truth, and I regretted my actions immensely. She was perfectly right to wonder why I was suddenly being so nice to her; she must think I want something out of her.

But of course she would be too polite to ask why. She would just wait until the time came, and then decide what to do.

I brought my hand to my forehead, acknowledging the seal that was branded onto the skin hidden by bandages and my forehead protector. I shut my eyes, feeling myself swirl in the vortex of mixed feelings, floating along with the current, feeling different emotions meld into one as my chest muscles tightened involuntarily. 

I opened my eyes and composed myself, then turned to sit on the worn stool beside her bed. She was still eyeing me warily, and yet was concerned for me at the same time.

"Neji-niisan..." 

"Hinata, I have something to tell you."

Her eyes widened. My eyes would have too, if I had been in her shoes. This was the moment of reckoning for the both of us, time for me to explain my kindness to her, to draw or erase the line between us. 

"Firstly, I would like to tell you that I'm really sorry for all those years of my being unkind to you, for mocking you for you weakness."

Softly, she replied, "Iie, it was nothing. It... it gave me motivation to work harder after all..." Clearly she was trying to make me feel better. 

"And secondly," I said, "I would have to tell you why I hated the Main House, and you as well." 

Briefly, I retold her father's story, and then said, " I hated you, because you were heir to the Hyuuga Clan, and I strongly believed that I was in a better position than you, that I had more potential than you." I paused. "But after your dad told me the truth about Otousan... About how and why he died, I realised that I had crossed the thin line bordering love and hate... I discovered that I actually loved you..."

Here, she gasped, hands covering her mouth, lilac eyes widened with shock. Tears pooled in her eyes and flowed uncontrollably down her cheeks, leaving wet streaks on her face, her beautiful face. 

"... I didn't just love you as a sister..." 

I stood up, and leaned over so that my lips were very nearly touching her ear. She shuddered involuntarily, as I breathed softly in her ear," I love you... because you are Hyuuga Hinata..."

And then, with a swift, fluid action, I turned her such that she was facing me, her weight supported by one of my arms. Her face was just inches from mine, and the mere sight of her pink lips was enough to drive me crazy with lust. 

Impulsively I pressed my lips to hers, pulling her against me, praying hard at the same time that she would respond to my affections and not reject me. I laced my fingers in her soft hair and took in her sweet scent and the tantalising smell of peaches. 

Unanswered. She pushed me away with surprising strength. I staggered backwards, panting heavily, and gazed at her longingly-- flushed cheeks, furrowed brows, tousled hair. 

"Gomenasai, Neji-niisan... I can't... Naruto-kun's the one... I love..."

I clenched my teeth in anger, disappointment and shut my eyes to keep myself composed. I took a few steps backwards and then made for the door, stopping once to glance back imploringly at her. 

_If only she could be mine..._

_ But she cannot... Will not. We will never be. _

"Goodbye, Hinata." 

Pulling the door shut behind me, I held back my tears, and clutched at my broken heart. I ran down the corridor, running away from her, from bad memories, from regret, from hatred, from love...

Running... 

Swirling in the vortex of my confused heart...

A/n: Ta-dum! My first NejiHina! Hope you all liked it. Oh and because this is a oneshot, it will not be continued ^^;; I may or may not write a sequel ^^;; 


End file.
